She brought be me back to the story of Hagar...if you have a chance to read it in the Bible, I recommend it. She wasn't exactly the best person, and because of it and because of the cruelty/irresponsibility of those in charge of her care and her "career," she ran from the community to the desert. She felt alone, forgotten, abused, hurt, bitter, disappointed, rejected, etc. She was an outcast to society; however, God did not forget her...he brought her food, water, and guidance--then went above and beyond that by giving her a very promising future and incredible legacy. Her life was simple, her influence was simple, her circle of friends small, but God saw her as important, as beautiful, and WORTH HIS TIME AND ATTENTION.
Often I forget that even though my service is simple, that I'm operating with a greater purpose. Sometimes I feel forgotten, but there is one that will never forget me. Often I struggle with my past wishing to God that things could have been different...that I could have somehow stopped these destructive patterns in my life, that I could have absorbed a completely different way of seeing myself and being more positive, that I could have stopped whatever it was that caused my pituitary tumor and the onslaught of other health issues. The list goes on and on about what I wish/think SHOULD HAVE been different about my life...so much so that it now holds me back from moving forward. I do still "feel the wounds deeply" and feel "trapped in the word of 'It should have been different'" This is where I am and this is place I want to leave.
How many of us don't want this? To feel beautiful, to be remembered, and to feel WORTH IT...you are, my friend, you are.
