I wish I could change a lot of things about my life, but I know at this point many of those changes aren't possible unless they are a gradual, every day, every moment decisions. This is where I tend to run out of patience with life.
I've been training with Wade Burns who runs Elite Fitness here in Hot Springs, and it has been 2 weeks...2 full weeks of training. First week starting out with 15 minutes and now I'm up to 20 to 25. It's an intense workout no matter how short the duration, and I feel a lot of changes in my body--certain parts are slimmer, stronger, more functional while others remain a huge problem. The hardest part is that I've lost only maybe a pound or 2 and am feeling pretty depressed about the fact that I almost wasn't accepted in the training program because of all my problems combined. (pituitary tumor, swapping of hormones, weakened immune system, scoliosis in my back, the messed up musculature there, etc.)
I wish I could change the muscular and skeletal damage I've put my body through for the last 20 years...starting with poor training in track throwing shot put and discus to allowing myself to gain so much weight.
I want to give up, but THANK GOD I have Dr. Shannon DeBoer's voice in my head saying "would you rather be in pain because you are doing nothing or because you are doing something about it?" That remains true...I have lived in pain every day since 2002 when I found out about my back injuries and gave up on working out, so I chose today, IN SPITE OF HOW I FEEL, that I will continue on this journey to better health no matter what the cost.
